February, will you be mine?

I kept a "time sheet" the week before last to see how many hours I worked in a week: 70. Clearly that was a busy week; they're not all like that, but it's not uncommon. Part of it was for my job and part of it was for the classes I'm taking. I was surprised by that number because, well, I think I just handle it well. That being said, I'm taking a personal day tomorrow to just clear my head and get refocused. I have surplus amounts of work to do while I am on my "personal day," but I already know it will help me more than anyone can understand. I remember calling in sick one day during my student teaching so I could fill out job applications and do wedding planning. That was a stressful day, but it allowed me to get it over with and focus on the task at hand for the remainder of the semester. So that's similar to what I'm doing tomorrow, in a sense. I love clearing the path to a relaxing near-future.

We should find out next week whether we'll be in Fayetteville or not. If you know me at all, you know I haven't doubted it one bit. I feel completely silly saying we'll "find out" because I already know! I can't believe how quickly time is zooming by. It's already March! Ryan and I are still successfully following our "Read the Bible in a Year" plan. I truthfully didn't think we'd make it this far because the first couple of months is what I consider to be the more boring parts. But we're trucking along!

We also, for the month of February, decided that every single day we were going to text each other something that we love about the other. It ended today, and I think I'll be sad when I don't get one of those texts tomorrow. It was very sweet and I recommend that you do the same. After a while--after you get past the "I love those soccer legs" and the "I love your beautiful smile"--you have to think in order to come up with something. Those were my favorites. It helped us focus on each other and deepen our appreciation for each other. Oh, what fun!

In other news, I'm obsessed with Idol as always. It's on for several hours during the week, but since it is literally the only show that I watch, I can swing it. :) Also, I'm totally loving my Nook. I got another Birthday surprise, too: a huge aquarium! I have to wait until we move to set it up and move over the fish from my small aquarium, but it was a great deal and we couldn't pass it up. I'm way too excited about it! This has been the best month ever, especially since it was topped off with seeing our families for the first time since Christmas. I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I can't wait to see them more often than we've been able to in the past!

All of this, coupled with the blizzards, tornadoes, sunshine, and earthquakes we've had in Central Arkansas this month, life has certainly been exciting! I loved this month.

SNOW Excited!

I'm snow excited because I still haven't had a full week of school since Christmas break. This also happened last year, and I remember just relishing the relaxation that a short week brings. Even though it's not a vacation per say, there's just something about an extra day off that can bring such excitement and giddiness to our lives. Nevermind my sometimes unhealthy love affair with snow!

I'm snow excited because Ryan is getting me a Nook for my birthday/Valentine's day! Last week at school, our journalism teacher weighed my purse because the students are writing an article on heavy backpacks. My purse weighed twelve (12!) pounds, and I then discovered I had three (3!) books in it. I can't wait to get it, for that reason and many, many others. Duh.

I'm snow excited because Ryan and I have had such a blast hanging out with our friends lately. The closer it gets, the more saddened I am that we're moving. I'm already concocting plans for quality time post-move. It will still be so much fun. After all, I'm no newbie to long distance relationships! In fact, I cannot even express how thankful I am every single day that I get to be with Ryan every single day rather than a few days every couple of weeks. Thank God.

I'm snow excited because Ryan and I are still going strong with our plan to read the Bible in a year. We are definitely enjoying it, even though some nights I complain about the selection being boring. The plan we're following goes in chronological order, so we won't be in the New Testament for quite
             a
                while.                     

I'm also snow excited because I got an A on my first test for one of my classes. Some of the students who are almost finished with the program said this particular class was their hardest. As said in last post, all I feel like I've done lately is work, but it pays off. I'm usually private about things like this because I feel some innate need to be "modest," but I've worked for it. Someone shared this quote with me this week:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne Williamson

The bolded part especially caught my attention because this is something Ryan and I have discussed extensively. For example, when I got my Jetta, I didn't want to drive it to his church because I felt bad for the people who couldn't afford new cars. Any time I've gotten an award for anything, I've kept it mostly to myself because I don't want attention for it from other people. I often feel embarrassed--more like guilty--if someone goes nuts over my outfit or shoes in front of certain people because I don't want the attention like that. To put it plainly--I often "play small." Not to say I'm going to start boasting about everything, but this at least gives me a new perspective. It's fine to be modest, but my feelings are wrong. Trying to be so "modest" about things actually makes me seem more selfish, I'm realizing.  Who am I to say other people will "shrink" themselves just because I'm shining at the moment? That's actually quite disgustingly selfish. I can't believe I ever thought I had that kind of power over anyone. 

I know I ramble, but I'm snow excited to live my life.  :)

LOVE

Valentine's Day is one of my most favorite holidays, for a reason uknown to even me. I think it's a subconcious appreciation for a dainty pink/red combination, because on that day and that day only, it's acceptable to the world. But who am I kidding? The truth: I always get a more spectacular present than most because it's always combined with my birthday! Ryan and I decided that I'm very special for having been born in February. It's the least likely month in which to enter this world because it has the fewest amount of days. I always knew I was special, and I'm relieved to finally figure out why. I kid, I kid!

Even more special is this white gloriousness that has been intermittently falling from the sky this winter. I absolutely love it, and I get just as excited the fifth time as I do the first. Lately I've been craving the idea of sitting in front of a fire place in a cozy cottage, watching the snow fall outside the window. Thinking about this scene relaxes me immediately. I don't know where this originated or why it has this effect on me, but I'm rolling with it.

Maybe it's because I've been painfully busy lately. I can't even begin to give details other than the fact that I've been reduced to working, and sleeping in between working binges. Between my job and my classes, I have no evenings and no weekends unless I choose to sacrifice sleep. Last night was parent-teacher conferences (which I enjoyed), so we didn't have school today. It was helpful, but again, I was running around like a fool to do the things that needed to be done. I did get to stop and savor a decent chunk of time with Lydia, which was so wonderful and necessary to my vitality. I enjoy being busy, but not when I don't even have the freedom to procrastinate!

But I'm not complaining. Busyness can be so fulfilling sometimes.