I somehow always find time to do what I want to do. I've recently become quite skilled at putting things off that don't matter as much to me. Of course, it's not exactly the best idea, but it sure makes me happy! Last night, instead of grading, I spent my night doing what I wanted to do. Oops.

I stumbled across this blog: http://www.kellehampton.com/. She is a fantastic writer, but the reason I'm giving you this link is because she tells the most beautiful, honest story. It's a beautifully disastrous story. If you have the time, go to her site and click on "Start Here If You're New" (naturally). That is the link to the page I spent my night reading. It's lengthy, but worth it. I smiled and cried, and fear filled my heart.

See for yourself. Grab some tissues and somebody's hand.


When I Grow Up...

When I dream, I am awed by the array of possibilities awaiting me. There are so many things that I want to be when I grow up, and I get overwhelmed when I realize I can't do them all. I mean, how do you choose? It would help if there were a common thread between my many aspirations, but there is not one. In fact, I don't feel more excited about any particular one over the others, which is what makes it difficult.

The good news: Anytime I dream about my future, my heart leaps with joy. Whether I am a stay at home wife, a teacher, a librarian, an academic advisor, a nurse, a celebrity, a business woman, a craft lady, a childless wife, a mom. I am thankful for versatility; it's a blessing to think that I might be happy no matter what.

But I can't believe that we are supposed to know what we want to do with our entire lives when are just babies in college... or even high school. So many people just choose something because they are forced to declare a major halfway through college. My students often ask me why I chose to become a teacher; I usually reply with, "I have no idea." Or sometimes I even say, "umm I still don't know why I want to become a teacher." Ha. They know I love them and I mostly enjoy my job, but I would be lying if I gave any sort of reason at all.

Such a lofty decision at such a vulnerable age. So, I think I'll be a professional student. I seriously see myself being in school my whole life, as a student. I'm okay with that.

I love this quote from a book I recently read and loved, Saving CeeCee Honeycutt:

"But how will I know what my fire is?"
"Oh, you'll know. One day you'll do something, see something, or get an idea that seems to pop up from nowhere. And you'll feel a kind of stirring--like a warm flicker inside your chest. When that happens, whatever you do, don't ignore it. Open your mind and explore the idea. Fan your flame. And when you do, you'll have found it" (102).