Ode to the Crazies

In an attempt to psych myself out for the return to school, I present to you some of my favorite quotable memories from last year.

-What is professional development? Is that like architecture?

-You have a husband??!! *this question was posed to me in MAY. Hello!

-Did you know that skinny jeans can give you cancer?

-Jesus Christ!!! (quite angrily)
(I say the student's name and impose upon him an intense stare.)
What? I'm catholic! (In a "no really, it's okay because..." tone.)

-What do you call a person who makes art?

-A girl was showing an ESL student a gap in her teeth from a pulled tooth
 ESL student: Aww, what happened? Did your tooth fell down?

-Me: I can't keep waiting for you to get out a pencil. (Begins teaching)
Kid: Hey, no child left behind! (Huge grin)

-Mrs. Harness, you're my favorite teacher. Just kidding!

*Background information: Kid 3 in this scenario has an unhealthy love affair for Wendy's baconaters. He talked about them every day and finally someone asked him:
Kid 1: What is a baconater?
Kid 2 in an annoyed tone: It's a sandwich.
Kid 3 in a rather defensive tone: A sandwich!? Oh it's no sandwich! It's a masterpiece of meat, cheese, and bacony goodness.

-I just got called a butt muscle! A butt muscle! Who gets called a butt muscle?!

I am very dramatic when the Crazies ask about kids, so this is how they respond:
-You're going to be like the Duggars, but instead of having a new kid every season, you'll have a new kid every episode!
-Yeah, Octomom!!

-Kid 1: What does a-s-s- mean? (Legitimate-- it was in Julius Caesar)
 Kid 2: I don't know, but that's what I call my mom!

-New student: You look young. Like really, really young.
               Me: Take a guess, then.
         student: Like 27!

-I'm going to be in the NBA. (This kid is not on the basketball team...)

While briskly walking through the hall, a student says:
-yeh, I had to have back surgery yesterday because I fell on the ice.

-Kid 1: What is fornication?
 Kid 2: It's when unmarried people have sex.
 Kid 1: Oh. Really? (Looks at me) Is that right?
    Me: Yes.
Kid 1: (Looks around) Raise your hand if you have ever fornicated!?

-In a student's essay, she said castrated instead of concentrated. I don't remember the context, but it was about playing softball.

Wait, what?

I don't typically write in lists. In fact, they sometimes annoy me (imagine that). They don't annoy me as much as excruciatingly long blocks of text with no pictures, though. Since I have no pictures, a list it is!

• I'll stop being dramatic for a second--it's tough--but I am not "dreading" school as I said in my last post. But I am reveling in these summer months.
• I've been to the pool three days this week. First time since May. I quickly found myself coveting the tans of the regular pool goers, but then I reminded myself that they will have nasty skin in a few years. It truly is a consolation, since any hint of color from the sun is actually damaged skin-- and your skin is the main part of you that people see. Butyesi'dstillliketohaveatan.
• On our honeymoon, I purchased a t-shirt from Hard Rock Cafe Cancun, and I haven't been able to find it ever since last August. I found it today!
• Ryan and I received our letter today regarding the Fayetteville campus. We are in that group, pending its accreditation in the spring. We will not be allowed to change our minds after upcoming days, from what I understand. Please pray, pray, pray because we have no idea what we want or where we are supposed to be. Wait, what? We were so excited to move, but we feel like we're finally adjusting here. He has found his two soccer teams which he loves, I found an awesome pool to which I want to buy a pass next summer, he loves his job here, I love the people with whom I work, we love our church here, and most of our closest friends are in this area. I'm not sure that I'm ready to give up Sunday dinners with Shane and double dates with Luke & Lydia. Even though we will be locked in soon, we fortunately have almost a year before it actually happens. I'm not posting any positives about the potential move, due to the fact that it's our more likely decision. Just let me pout, okay? :)
• This summer has been nothing but a blessing for Ryan and me. I love him more than ever. Marriage is the best!

Pots, Paintings, and Dread

Last spring I purchased a beautiful red Peace Lily from Home Depot and planted it in a beautiful ceramic pot I bought at Hobby Lobby. It has not grown one flower since I brought it home. It looked awful several months ago, so I set it outside and it began to perk up-- for a very short period of time. This is how it looked earlier today: dead leaves, cramped, awful. It doesn't look that bad, but it has looked like this for a very long time with no progress.

The solution I came up with was to repot it. Ryan took me to a few places in search of a pot, and none of them owned up to my standards. We finally went to K-Mart and I found one I love. It's not anything like I orginally had in mind, but I love it oh-so-much! It's a thousand times better than the other one which caused my Peace Lily to be so cramped up.

I brought it inside because I'm girly and I don't particularly enjoy the outdoors. Really, Ryan and I decided to have a Big Bang Theory marathon and I couldn't wait to begin either activity! I forgot to buy a shovel, but luckily I had these plastic shovels that came with the sandbucket I bought to help with cleaning my aquarium. (Two weeks ago, I set up an aquarium I've had for five years now!)

I think I discovered the issue:

Look at all that water! I knew something was wrong when I went to dig my plant out of the old pot and I could literally just pull it out with two fingers. Not only had it rained several inches this week, but there was no drainage hole in the bottom of that pot. Eek! I'm glad I laid down that trash bag before I began this project.

I love the end result. Hopefully it begins to grow and grow! I trimmed off all of the dead and semi-dead leaves. I was saddened to see it so bare, but it still looks so much better. It's not quite as large as it seems in the pictures.

 Ta-da!

 

I also made a painting the other day. I had fun making it, but I don't love the finished product like I thought I would. First, I made a little sketch in my trial version of Adobe Illustrator. It's a neat program, but way too complicated for me. I'll just wing it next time. I was basically able to design my painting on the computer with real measurements, so when it came time to actually begin, I knew exactly where to put each line. Perhaps that didn't make sense. Oh well. :)

I put my canvases together and began taping them off with painter's tape. 

 

Then I painted it gray and green, to go in our p-l-a-i-n guest bedroom, and then removed the tape.

Ryan insisted that I get in the picture with my painting. Ignore the background mess... I had to put my aquarium on top of my book shelf, so I had to find a new place for what was originally on top. The mess is not there anymore. :) Anyway, I do like my paintings but the green didn't turn out as bright as I had hoped, and the canvases still look too small on the wall I put them on.

I think I might try it again. I'm thinking BIG. And yellow. :) And here's a little secret-- I'm not exaggerating one bit when I say I get nauseous every time I write the date because it's getting too close to August. I can't stand the thought of it. At all. Dread.