My cousin Jesse is 5 years older than me. I always thought he was the coolest person, and I remember going to my grandparents' house hoping my sisters and I would get to hang out with him. He was always so much fun and one of the most active people I've ever met.
6 years ago today he was in an accident because he and his friends were drinking and driving. It was almost a fatality; he was in a coma for several months, and is now paralyzed from the neck down. It was life changing for him and many people around him. It's tough going to visit my grandparents now because they are worn out from taking care of him, and obviously he's moderately unhappy with his new lifestyle.
Basically, this is one reason I'm adamantly against drinking, especially coupled with driving. There's no reversal. I can't believe it's been that long--it was my senior year of high school--but I know for him the time has passed all but quickly.
Two years ago, I was what I now call "on my death bed." That phrase is absolutely an exaggeration, but this is the month I spent laying in bed, crying because I thought I was either 1) going to die, or 2) have to drop out of college, cancel our wedding, and lay in bed the rest of my life.
My stomach(ish) problems have been much better lately, but I will never in my lifetime forget how I felt. I cannot forget how I came to the realization that life is fleeting, but the quality of life is what matters the most. I now have so much empathy for anyone with any sort of medical condition because it has the potential to destroy your life. Luckily, although mine went on and has gone on for many years, the very serious part was only a few months. I very seriously never thought it would end, but after many scopes, IVs, CT scans, other tests, medicine after medicine, and tons of tears and vomit, I'm doing well. :)
Sometimes finding hope in these situations can be like finding a needle in a haystack. I just think it's amazing that I still love this time of year so much. It could be so dark, but then again, how is that possible? It's Christmas!
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oh my goodness! i didn't know you had a blog! i'll definitely be reading yours too! i didn't know you had been sick, but i am soooo glad you're better! i went through a horrible time physically last january and february, so i know what you mean about having that certain time of year seeming like a dark time of year. thank the lord we have hope :)
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