Holiday Haul

As my Christmas vacation comes to a wrap, I'm all settled in back at our apartment and ready to conquer the upcoming semester. I'm struggling, as usual, with thoughts of displeasure and unwillingness, but I keep telling myself, ready or not, here it comes! Whether it goes well or not, you can't stop time, and it will be over in 5 months. I could possibly be going crazy, but talking to myself like that actually has helped. I keep telling Ryan, "I have decided not to teach again next year." Of course, he is supportive no matter what, but it's comical how many times I have made that declaration. I do think it might be in my best interest to at least take off a year and see if the grass is truly greener on the other side. I can always go back, right? That's where I stand right now. And just so we're clear: I like teaching when I'm actually at school; I hate how much it invades my personal time.

Anyway-- Christmas break! Oh, what fun! I enjoyed my time at home with our families. I stayed a few extra days to help my mom paint and finish other random projects that need to be done before my parents put their house on the market, then I came back on Wednesday because I learned last year that I get super stressed if I'm not at my own place to rest a few days before school starts. Christmas Eve and Christmas day have the potential to wear us out, but we love it. We have six Christmases in two days if you count the one we have by ourselves. Fortunately, it's always worked out to where we don't have to miss any. This was our 6th Christmas to celebrate with both of our families, so this schedule is becoming second nature. Thanksgiving is just as crazy and jam-packed, but as I said, so far it's always worked out. I'm not sure how it will work when we move and my family moves; it will be different, but hopefully the celebrations will continue!

This was our second New Years Eve spent in Little Rock rather than back home. Ryan and I are number one grandma and grandpa, it seems, but I'm actually not ashamed. We went out to eat on New Years Eve, then we came home and just hung out by ourselves. I kept telling him that we were probably the only people on the planet to not be doing something, but it's exactly what I wanted to be doing. I've never made resolutions, per say, but I do have a little list this year:

1. Floss more often.
2. Exercise more often.
3. Eat healthier.
4. Focus on health (specifically, get my neck and back fixed...among others).
5. Take at least one day each weekend (probably Sundays) and do no work.
6. Read the Bible in a year.
7. Read all of the books in my stack of "books to read" before I buy more.

So far, I'm on track to sticking with these. I came up with more, but I knew I was setting myself up for failure and chose not to resolve to do those things. I had to giggle to myself as I typed, "choose water over tea" because I know that won't happen. :) I don't think these will be too challenging for me, except #2 and 3. Ew.

Happy New Year from my home to yours!

Needle in a Haystack

My cousin Jesse is 5 years older than me. I always thought he was the coolest person, and I remember going to my grandparents' house hoping my sisters and I would get to hang out with him. He was always so much fun and one of the most active people I've ever met.

6 years ago today he was in an accident because he and his friends were drinking and driving. It was almost a fatality; he was in a coma for several months, and is now paralyzed from the neck down. It was life changing for him and many people around him. It's tough going to visit my grandparents now because they are worn out from taking care of him, and obviously he's moderately unhappy with his new lifestyle.

Basically, this is one reason I'm adamantly against drinking, especially coupled with driving. There's no reversal. I can't believe it's been that long--it was my senior year of high school--but I know for him the time has passed all but quickly.

Two years ago, I was what I now call "on my death bed." That phrase is absolutely an exaggeration, but this is the month I spent laying in bed, crying because I thought I was either 1) going to die, or 2) have to drop out of college, cancel our wedding, and lay in bed the rest of my life.

My stomach(ish) problems have been much better lately, but I will never in my lifetime forget how I felt. I cannot forget how I came to the realization that life is fleeting, but the quality of life is what matters the most. I now have so much empathy for anyone with any sort of medical condition because it has the potential to destroy your life. Luckily, although mine went on and has gone on for many years, the very serious part was only a few months. I very seriously never thought it would end, but after many scopes, IVs, CT scans, other tests, medicine after medicine, and tons of tears and vomit, I'm doing well. :)

Sometimes finding hope in these situations can be like finding a needle in a haystack. I just think it's amazing that I still love this time of year so much. It could be so dark, but then again, how is that possible? It's Christmas!

'Tis the Season

This is my favorite time of year. I love everything about it: the weather, the shopping, the joyful atmosphere, the decorations. I even had hot chocolate yesterday to celebrate the season, and I don't even like hot chocolate! But for some reason, I'm just not "feelin' it" this year like I usually am. I'm trying everything. I've watched Elf twice. I'm listening to Christmas music. Everything. I think this year, for the first time in my life, I'm annoyed at the way everybody celebrates Christmas and makes a big deal about it without even acknowledging Christ. I love Santa, and I've even contemplated starting a collection of old Santas; I love presents. I'm not saying these things are bad. I love them! But my heart is in a different place than usual at this time of year. It's in the right place, I think.

That being said, I'll give you a glimpse of our little winter wonderland: